I don’t know if it’s just my algorithm or if the whole world’s gone a bit mad lately… but everywhere I look, it feels like men and women are at war.
And honestly? It’s just… sad.
I’ve been doom scrolling (as you do when you finally sit down with a cuppa that’s already gone cold), and it’s constant. The “manosphere”, women saying they’d rather choose a bear than a man, men wanting “traditional women” again, women saying they don’t feel safe or can’t trust men…
And I can see bits of truth on both sides.
That’s the thing that makes it even more confusing.
But also… when did it get this bad?
It all feels so orchestrated. Like we’ve been slowly nudged into these corners where we’re meant to pick a side, slap a label on ourselves and go to battle.
Feminist. Traditional. Masculine. Feminine.
Why are we labelling each other like we’re products on a shelf?
What happened to just… being people?
Because if you strip it all back, most of us want the same things, don’t we?
We want choice.
The choice to be a stay-at-home mum in cosy jumpers baking banana bread. The choice to build a career and absolutely smash it. The choice to chase dreams, change paths, start again, mess it up, try again.
Just… choice.
Without judgement. Without being told we’re doing it wrong.
The other day I was chatting to David about dreams.
Now, if you know me, you know I’m full of them. My brain never shuts up. I want to write, paint, travel the world in a little campervan with a mismatched kettle and probably too many blankets.
So I asked him, “What are your dreams?”
And he just shrugged and said,
“There’s no point in dreams. I can’t afford to dream.”
I don’t think I’ve ever had my heart break so quietly.
Because how many men feel like that?
How many feel like their only role is to provide, to keep it all ticking over, to be “realistic”… while slowly packing their own dreams away because life says they don’t get to have them?
We talk a lot about women feeling trapped, overlooked, unsafe… and rightly so.
But what about the men who feel like they’re not allowed to be soft? Or hopeful? Or even a bit unrealistic?
When did dreaming become a luxury?
I’m not a feminist. But I’m not “traditional” either. And honestly? I don’t even want to be either. Because I don’t think most of us fit neatly into these boxes we keep trying to shove each other into.
I think we’re all just trying our best.
Tired mums. Tired dads. People juggling bills, babies, relationships, expectations, and a million opinions from strangers on the internet.
And instead of turning on each other… shouldn’t we be teaming up?
Helping each other?
Backing each other?
Showing our kids what respect, love and partnership actually looks like?
Because at this rate… what are we teaching the next generation?
That boys and girls grow up to resent each other?
To compete instead of connect?
To assume the worst instead of seeing the human in front of them?
I don’t want that. I don’t want my kids growing up thinking love is a battlefield.
I want them to see teamwork.
Kindness.
Understanding.
Two people building something together, not tearing each other down.
I’m just… tired of it all.
The noise. The blame. The constant “us vs them.”
Maybe it’s naive, but I still believe most people are good.
Men and women.
And maybe instead of asking who’s right… We should start asking how we fix it.
Together.
