The Surprise
Our Gran Canaria family holiday was booked before I even knew what was happening!
Cooking Spag Bol on a random Wednesday in February, David walks in from work, dead casual and drops a surprise:
He booked a holiday to Gran Canaria…. for a whole week!
There was no “Shall we look at holidays!” or “Where would you like to go?”
Just booked. Paid. Sorted! … We were all ridiculously excited. Me even more so. I’d been having a rough time of it, the kind where you’re running on empty and pretending you’re fine. David had noticed
So, a surprise holiday in the sun 😎… where I didn’t have to get involved in any planning process… well, it was beautifully lifting.
Trying to eat tea after this wonderful news was near impossible.
The kids bombarding him with questions of what will be there. They had yet to experience a summer pool holiday.
7 weeks countdown begins… Let the holiday planning prep begin!
Arrival/The Reality Check
We headed to the airport early, making a full day of it watching the planes before we even boarded. The kids were absolutely buzzing, full of excitement for their first proper holiday abroad.
Take off was my favourite moment. Me and the kids in one row, David in the other, getting to “stretch out” and have a little nap. I think I got the better deal though. Watching Dominic’s face as the plane lifted from the ground, pure elation, was something I won’t forget in a hurry. There’s something about seeing a child experience something new that just stops you in your tracks. Magical doesn’t even cover it.
Four hours flew by in all honesty. Movies downloaded on the Kindle, endless snacks, little chit chats about what we’d get up to. Before we knew it we had our luggage, transferred to the hotel and arrived late into the evening. The kids bundled into their big shared bed knowing that right outside their door, waiting for them in the morning, were the pools.
They slept like absolute logs.
Day one though? Day one set the tone immediately.
The Poop-cident:
The day had started beautifully. Full breakfast, cocktail in one hand, book in the other, kids jumping in and out of the pool without a care in the world. David had already made a new friend, a lovely fella who was there solo with his little girl. Absolute pool day vibes.
We’d moved from the big pools over to the baby pool side of the complex so the kids could splash about on the slides. In doing so we’d left most of our things at the original sunbeds. Key included. Tucked away in my bag. On the other side of the complex.
We were mid convo with our new friends when I spotted it. Dominic. Crouched down. That look.
Every mum knows that look.
“Do you need the toilet Dom?”
“NO!”
Classic. So I checked anyway, because that’s the job, and sure enough, we had a situation. I grabbed him and legged it to the apartment, Dominic informing me with great urgency that more was coming and he also needed a wee.
We get to the door.
No key.
I left Dom at the door, sprinted to the bottom of the stairs and shouted David at the top of my voice. David then had to leave Evelyn at the baby pool, run the entire length of the complex to our bags and back. Luckily Evelyn was with our new friend who watched her, and it was literally two minutes, but still. Mother of the year, I am not.
By the time I got back upstairs, poor Dominic had weed all over the floor and was absolutely beside himself.
Relaxing pool day. Sure. 👀
The All Inclusive Trap
All inclusive is absolutely the way to go on a pool holiday, I won’t hear otherwise. When all the kids want to do is swim, eat and exist in a permanent state of snack, having it all on tap is just chef’s kiss.
Evelyn was in her element at every meal, pure joy on her face getting to grab a plate like a proper grown up and choose exactly what she wanted. Almost always a lovely fresh plate of food. Almost. The occasional bowl of ice cream piled high with syrup and hundreds and thousands may have also featured. Dominic meanwhile lived exclusively on spaghetti bolognese and pizza for seven days straight. Typical three year old.
Me and David? We clearly just needed the alcohol.
Now the cocktail slushy machines looked innocent enough. Fruity, colourful, refreshing. What they didn’t advertise was that each one contained what I can only describe as a full bottle of spirits disguised as a nice tropical drink. One afternoon, six strawberry daiquiris in, I became David’s personal entertainment for the evening. He had to carry me to bed. Six cocktails. Six. I’m not a lightweight by any means but those machines were something else entirely.
David meanwhile had the beer tap, just waltzing up whenever he fancied a pint. Not that I could manage one myself, no matter how hard I tried I could not pull that pint without a seven inch head on it. 🙄
The entertainment acts were different every night which meant late nights became the routine, and between the unlimited ice cream, juice on tap and no bedtime to speak of, by day two the kids were absolutely feral. Hyped beyond all recognition.
I almost drowned them.
The Highlights
You could take Evelyn anywhere in the world and she would find her people. Language barrier? Absolutely no obstacle whatsoever.
One evening she was just dancing away on an empty stage, doing her thing completely unbothered, and within minutes she’d drawn every other child in the place towards her. One little girl in particular, the same age, from Spain, with very limited English. Didn’t matter one bit.
Every evening after that they danced together, played hide and seek, communicated through absolutely nothing but pure childhood joy. Six years old and already collecting friends from across the world. I was genuinely so proud of her.
Then came the karaoke night. Dominic was exhausted so I put him to bed early and sent Evelyn and David down while I watched from our balcony overlooking the entertainment area. Best seat in the house as it turned out. Because my girl got up on that stage with her new friends and sang Golden, Kpop Demon Hunters, in front of everyone. I welled up completely. Didn’t even try to hold it together.
The days were just as brilliant. Hours in the pool, David being like a fish, kids getting thrown and dunked. Dominic genuinely surprised us all with his swimming. From day one to just a few days in the difference was remarkable.
Absolutely no fear, completely natural in the water. He called himself a shark and honestly, fair enough.
Off the shark would go to make new friends too, bold as anything at just three years old, marching up to other kids asking their names and what they liked. Specifically whether they loved dragons. Or the pool. Or Johnny getting big, his very dedicated Hotel Transylvania 3 reference that absolutely nobody else understood but me. 😄
And Dominic’s constant question throughout the entire holiday, to anyone who would listen?
“Do you love that… or do you love the pool?”
Every. Single. Day. 😄
Dad’s “moment”
There are moments on holiday that you can feel building like a storm rolling in. The air changes, the tension thickens and you just know.
By day four, between the relentless sugar highs, the late nights, the constant “I want, I want!” and the whinging that had well and truly reached ear ringing levels, David’s patience finally ran out.
The final straw?
Dominic, our self proclaimed shark and big boy, deciding he didn’t need to wait for anyone and making a run for the pool alone. Now yes, we were impressed with his swimming. Not quite impressed enough to let a three year old loose at a pool unsupported though. David clocked it, the worry hit him like a freight train and we all got a firm and thorough rollicking.
Every single one of us.
Honestly? I didn’t blame him one bit.
Because here’s the thing nobody tells you about all inclusive pool holidays with kids. You’re not actually on holiday. You’re just doing parenting in a warmer location with a cocktail in your hand. And if like me you can’t swim, your other half isn’t relaxing either. David was on lifeguard duty for seven days straight.
The only proper swimmer in the family, keeping one eye on the kids, one eye on me, in a pool that came up to my neck. I’m only 5ft. Those relaxing chill days by the pool were anything but relaxing for David.
He apologised immediately of course. Because that’s David. But the man deserved a medal not a pitbull biting back, which I have to admit is my usual stance. 😄
The Dunes
Now, no Gran Canaria holiday recap would be complete without mentioning our one and only day out. My one request. My one natural attraction. The Maspalomas Dunes.
Camels, a nudist beach, a three year old who thinks he’s a shark meeting his match and a mum who can’t swim wading chest deep through the sea to get off said nudist beach.
It deserves its own post entirely, which it has. You can read the full chaotic story right here.
👉 [Maspalomas Dunes With Kids: What Nobody Tells You]
Was It Worth It?
Coming to the end of our holiday you’d think we’d have had enough. And honestly? Even with all the chaos, the stress, the sugar hangover mornings and the lifeguard duty, I wouldn’t change a single second of it.
The trip was supposed to calm the nervous system. It did anything but that for a good 80% of the time. But that’s us. That’s our little family. Loud, chaotic, slightly feral on occasion and absolutely everything to me.
Amongst all the craziness we always have each other. And these memories, the poop-cident, the strawberry daiquiri incident, the nudist beach detour, David’s lifeguard shift, Evelyn’s karaoke moment and Dominic asking every stranger if they love dragons, they’re ours. Every ridiculous, brilliant one of them.
We’ll look back and laugh at these times.
We already are. 😄
Would I recommend a Gran Canaria family holiday? Absolutely, chaos and all.
