Its been a couple of months now and I still think of my feisty little Sam everyday. We lost him suddenly and adjusting to life without him has been a challenge. 10 years of loving him đ˘ His brother has been lost without him.
Looking at life without him and recalling how we all have dealt with his loss different. I have collated a few helpful tips to that we have used, to deal with the loss of our beloved Sam.
1. Understand Everyone Grieves Differently
Everyone grieves differently.
Evelyn was very teary, while Dominic just kept asking, âWhereâs Sam?â Kids might cry, act out, or seem fine, all of it is normal.
Meanwhile, I was a blubbering mess, and David⌠well, he tried to be strong. Or heâs just dead inside, Iâm still undecided. đđ¤¨đ
The truth is, grief has no deadline or checklist. And honestly? Comedy helps. Laughter really is the best medicine.
2: We spoke about Sam openly
We talked about Sam often. At dinner, at bedtime, in the car.
The kids asked tough questions like what âdeadâ really means, and where Heaven is.
We kept it age-appropriate and honest. No fluffy euphemisms like âhe went to sleep.â Death is hard, but pretending it isnât just confuses little minds more.
3: Get Creative With Goodbyes
We decided to bury him in the garden and plant a memorial tree over him. Now we get to watch that tree grow over the years, a living tribute to our boy.
Other ideas:
- Make a memory box with their favourite toys, photos, or collar
- Draw pictures or write letters to them
- Create a scrapbook or even a small video montage if you’re that way inclined
4: Keep Routines (But Be Gentle)
Kids thrive on routine, it helps them feel secure.
If youâve got other pets, let the kids help care for them. Samâs brother, Freddie, has been just as lost as us. Weâve all taken turns spoiling him and giving him extra cuddles. Pets grieve too, and helping them heal can help us heal too.
5: Normalise Sadness and Joy
Let your kids know itâs okay to cry, itâs part of healing.
But just as important, itâs okay to smile and laugh again too.
Remind them that missing someone doesnât mean we stop living â it means we carry them with us as we move forward.
6: Consider a Farewell Ceremony
When we buried Sam, Evelyn drew a picture to go with him. We had a little moment talking about it, and then hugged while David planted the tree.
Other ceremony ideas:
- Light a candle
- Release biodegradable balloons
- Let the kids read a poem, place a photo, or say a few words
7: Talk About the âWhat Nextâ Gently
Reassure them that itâs okay to love another pet in time, if we ever decided on a new one.
Loving a new pet doesnât replace Sam, it just continues the love he brought into our lives.
And by giving Freddie extra love and attention, the kids are helping him, and themselves, through the grief.
Sam will always hold a piece of our hearts. His fur might not be on the couch or in our food anymore, but his memory is in every corner of our home.
Grief is messy and weird. But weâll get through it together â one memory, one cuddle, one tear at a time.
